The Sweet Smell of Revenge

Tonight we went to see the "Atlantic Shorts" at the film festival, a collection of locally made short films. It's usually good for a yuck or two, and there are always some people we know involved somehow or other. Soon after we sat down, a ponytailed guy sat in the seat in front of us and began reeking. He was wearing at least twice the recommended amount of some cheap cologne. It was so bad that Alison had to trade seats with our friend Dagny, who was sitting on my other side.

After the films, some of which were not bad, we left the theatre and got most of the way home before I realized I'd left my bicycle helmet behind. I was pretty sure I could remember putting it under my seat before the stinky guy showed up. So we walked all the way back to the theatre and I pleaded with the ticket collectors to let me in, even though the next showing was about to start.

When I got to where we'd been sitting, I came face to face with stinky ponytail, who had changed seats in between features. He and his friend scowled at me as I asked them nicely whether there might by any chance be a bicycle helmet under one of their seats. The friend rummaged around for a REALLY long time, while the source of the offending odour continued to scowl unblinkingly at me. Finally, I started to say, "I guess it must not...," when the friend popped up and with a sarcastic expression proclaimed, "I win," simultaneously hoisting the helmet over his head, thereby launching the empty Pepsi bottle which he had failed to notice inside of it into the air, which bottle then bounced with a satisfying "tonk" off the ponytailed head of our antagonist. I thanked them both and managed to run out of the theatre with my helmet before even cracking a smile.

- Andrew