The News

This just in... local aging bohemians Andrew and Alison have reportedly joined a gym. The full reason is not yet known, though there is speculation that regular yoga classes at a similar cost to those being considered elsewhere are a probable partial influence. Rumours that the two will also be taking advantage of cardiovascular- and muscle-enhancing equipment can be neither confirmed nor denied. Opinions are varied as to just what this surprising turn of affairs means. While some pundits express skepticism that this is anything more than a short-lived bid for attention, others see it as the couple's first irreversible step into the realm of yuppiedom.

Yeah, so we went last night for an orientation session, and then early this morning for an elliptical workout. Seems pretty fun so far. There are TV's on different channels and if you bring headphones you can hear the sound and watch while you're working out. I got to see some music videos, which I don't get to at home because we don't have cable. Alison thinks we should check out when things are on that we want to watch but don't get and exercise then. I'm worried someone will show a good movie or a hockey game and I'll end up accidentally killing myself on the treadmill.

We also went to a yoga class on Saturday, which is how we got sucked into signing up. The class was really good, taught by a super nice Japanese lady named Michi who looks exactly like Dora the Explorer. She says "please" before every instruction and gives you a nice little parable-type thing to meditate on at the end of the class. We were psyched afterwards, and then they took us in this little tiny room and gave us the hard sell exactly as if we were at a car dealership. Pretty weird. But it does seem like a good deal, and we can keep signing up a month at a time so there's no long term soul-selling going on. Installment afterlife.

The other thing I wanted to tell you about was a movie we watched a couple of weeks ago now. It's called Palindromes, and it's directed by Todd Solondz, the same guy who did Happiness and Welcome to the Dollhouse. Like those films, it's about as black as comedy can get, while also telling the uncomfortably realistic stories of some uncomfortably sympathetic characters. I.e., it is awesome.

The story is about a 13-year old girl who wants to have a baby, so she gets pregnant and is coerced into an abortion by her parents. Not realizing that the doctor was forced to give her a hysterectomy, she runs away from home so that she may continue trying to have a baby. Of course she meets some sketchier than sketchy characters on the road and it's all very creepy and full of hilariously over the top pathos. Typical Solondz plot.

But the really out-there thing in this one is that the main character is played by a series of different actors who are different ages, races, and even genders. I'm still not exactly sure what the reason is behind that, except that one of the key thematic questions in the film is whether people can ever really change. There's also, I think, a point being made about the way others' perceptions of us affect our own self-image.

Finally, it's a loose sequel to Welcome to the Dollhouse, as this girl is related to the Weiners. Poor Dawn.

All in all, I give it two hyperextended thumbs up. Check it out.

- Andrew