Last Post for Awhile?

Not that I have been anyway, but I might not be able to blog in awhile, as we'll be on that train to Montreal in a couple of days, and gone for over a week. We're both really looking forward to the trip. My grandfather's not feeling so great and in the hospital right now, so our visit should be a nice cheer-up for him.

Things are moving along nicely with Alison's photo-superstar plans. All of a sudden there are numerous people presenting her with business opportunities, so she's got some deciding to do. Meanwhile, her boss/guardian angel has lots of good ideas for how best to shove her into the photographic limelight. She just got back last night from a shoot in Newfoundland with him, which I guess went off without a hitch, but then they paid for it on the trip back.

The weather here was wet and slippery, so their plane was diverted to Moncton for six hours. When they arrived back the driver of the shuttlebus that now takes you to the new airport parking lot flipped out because they didn't know where their car was parked. Never mind that a ticket had been given to them indicating exactly where it was, which ticket they had dutifully handed over to the driver as instructed when they got on the shuttle. Never mind that the driver no longer remembered which, if any, of the for some reason three tickets left in his hand even though they were the last party on the shuttle, was the one they had handed him. No, it was definitely their fault that they had no idea where their vehicle was in the pitch black of the brand new, featureless parking lot, and there was nothing else he could do but flip out and tell them to get off the bus or he would call the cops. Seriously. They refused to get off, as it was pouring rain and they had almost literally tons of camera equipment with them. So he stopped the bus and called "the constable," who eventually showed up and turned out to be a nice guy, offering to help them find their car in his car. But then as they started loading some of the aforementioned equipment out of the back of the bus and into this new, nicer guy's car, they turned around to see the bus racing off, the remainder of the equipment having been unceremoniously dumped into a puddle. When the photographer called the maniac's supervisor to complain, the supervisor said he hadn't heard the other side of the story yet, so he couldn't really do anything, but feel free to fill out a comment card. I'm not sure whether "I'm suing you," technically counts as a comment...

When they finally got back to the photographer's studio late at night, his steep driveway was so covered in rain-soaked ice that it was impossible to drive up, and they had to walk all the heavy gear up said driveway. By this time there was nothing left to do but laugh at their ridiculously bad luck, so that's what they did.

I, meanwhile, continue to slave over a hot computer, making black and white photos of cars sporting cartoon explosions full of phrases that end with exclamation points look pretty, and writing really stupid jokes to direct people's distraction and avarice toward the client-chosen objects of desire. Except that lately the jokes get so manhandled and reconfigured along the way that by the time they make it to print there is nothing recognizably humourous left in them. In order to bolster my comic abilities, I'm thinking of signing up for this class I noticed at the local comedy school:

HUMO-2046 The Knock-knock Joke

Students will be subjected to many examples of this timeless classic, becoming familiar with its history from the invention of the wooden door through today's post-modern variations. Creative discussion will be encouraged, and an original KKJ will be written by the student for the final class/critique.

Class topics will include:
Early precursors — mock-Greek names and the knock joke.
Who's there, indeed?
Suspense v. irritation in the participatory nature of the classic KKJ.
Character is punchline.
Suspense v. irritation II — banana banana.
Bing-bong, you go first, and other contemporary subversions.

Additional seminars will be available for those who "don't get it", and tutors Dwayne and Tyrone have volunteered to make housecalls as required.

See you in the funny papers!

- Andrew

P.S. Happy Valentine's Day.